In control...

As I begin week 3 of my "recovery" program I feel incredible and more importantly in control! It is a very strange expeirence to think of food as fuel instead of a pick me up when I am bored, sad, happy, stressed, lonely, etc. The meals on this diet are more rewarding than cake! I love the idea of what blueberries, quinoa, and walnuts are doing for my body! In the past I required immediate results in order to continue a diet. My expectations were always so silly and if I didn't lose like 10 lbs instantly than I would throw in the towel and eat a cookie! My attitude this time around is so different. I won't even allow myself to get on the scale right now because of it's psychological impact! I am receiving comfort by the way I feel versus the number on the scale. There is no doubt a mind body connection and I am still too fragile to weigh myself and then have the number not be where I think I should be at this point. So my focus is on increasing my strength and cardio and enjoying food as fuel and not as a band-aid!

I typically prefer a diet that is less structured and allows me to eat whatever I want so long as I stay within a number of calories. I have always had issues with being told what to do, just ask my parents! Diets with specific meal plans are usually hard for me as I feel I have less control over them. Now that I have realized my unhealthy relationship with sugar, caffeine, nutri-sweet, etc. I understand being "allowed" to eat foods that contain these ingredients was actually more harmful than helpful for me. These substances are antagonizing and I suffered when I couldn't have them in large portions.  It is no different than being an alcoholic and trying to only drink one glass of wine! It's torture! I am shocked how much more control I feel over my brain and stomach now that I have eliminated these substances completely. I have zero cravings, so when it is time to eat I am happy with whatever is on my plate...WEIRD! I am completely satisfied at the end of each meal and I have to pay attention to the clock in order to eat again...REALLY WEIRD!

The meals are designed to be filling and satisfying and are still surprisingly delicious! My favorite breakfast to date is the following:


2 whole grain waffles, one medium apple (chopped up), 2 tablespoons of chopped walnuts and 1 teaspoon of agave syrup. I then add some cinnamon on top! It is so yummy and keeps me full for hours. We unfortunately don't have Eggo here in South Africa so I am actually making a whole grain pancake recipe my friend Lisa gave me and than I make this recipe with one small pancake instead...hopefully I won't get in trouble for plagarism but this is the recipe:

1 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup oat bran
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
3 Tablespoons Agave Nectar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 cup fat free milk
3 Tablespoons melted coconut oil (I love this stuff)
1 whole egg
1 egg white
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

mix dry ingredients in a bowl
mix wet ingredients in a separate bowl
combine and stir

I will say these pancakes are very bland so you definitely have to eat them with fruit on top. Lisa takes a cup of strawberries and puts them in the microwave and them smashes them up so they are more like a syrup. Even a teaspoon of agave on top helps sweeten them up. They are incredibly dense so a small pancake is very filling.